The Social Studyz newsletter is a mix of question starters for building community, how I’m practicing it myself, and the occasional update on how I'm building this all in real time.
Hi in-betweener,
This week: a wedding to-do list that keeps regenerating, why everything is birding now, and one last chance to settle pumpkin bisque vs. pumpkin tamales.
🌀 what we’re spiraling out about this week
Spiraling thoughts are the ones we think on repeat, or that send us straight down a rabbit hole at 3am. Each week, one of us shares, so we can all normalize the spiral instead of pretending we're not having one. Have a spiraling thought you’d like to share? We’d love to feature it.
🚨🚨In-betweener share 🚨🚨
The wedding planning list is never-ending. Just when I cross one thing off, three more seem to appear underneath it. Email the florist. Confirm the timeline. Pick the songs. Order this. Decide that. Remember something I definitely should have thought of three weeks ago. It can be fun, especially when I get to see all the little pieces finally coming together, but it can also be surprisingly stressful. Sometimes I finish a task and my immediate reward is simply… not doing anything for a while. Sit down. Breathe. Maybe stare into space.
I’m trying to remember that this process is teaching me things, too: how to make decisions, how to let some things be “good enough,” and how lucky I am to have so many happy moments to plan for. And then, inevitably, I procrastinate. I put the checklist away and go do literally anything else. Maybe that’s not entirely a bad thing. Sometimes the best way to enjoy this season is to stop planning it and just be in it.
asking for a friend
when the to-do list regenerates, do you...
🧮 the connection equation
A tip or practice we’ve tried in our quest to build community — broken down for you to steal.
This past weekend, Taylor took us birding. Most of us started with “look at that big flying bird!” By the end, we were yelling about that bird’s GISS.
binoculars’ #1 fans
We opened the way we always do: who you are, plus one in-between thing you’re still in the middle of figuring out. This group had friends celebrating a birthday, a couple of solo birds, and almost nobody who’d ever held binoculars on purpose. Taylor ran a quick binocs tutorial (very necessary), and we were off.
Some things we learned:
How to check out a bird’s GISS. It stands for general impression of size and shape, and it’s how birders ID birds from far away. It’s pronounced exactly how you’re afraid it is. We were obsessed.
Everything is birding and birding is everything. After ten minutes with binoculars, everything was worth a closer look or a pause — trees, planes, a parked car, and it entirely changed the way we experienced our environment.
Birding looks different for everybody. Some people who’d met at past events mostly caught up. Some took their time with the scenery. Some sprinted ahead to call out a GISS. Same trail, same two hours, very different mornings.
steal this
next time you’re on a walk with someone, stop and stare at the same thing for a full minute. It could be a tree, a cloud, a suspicious pigeon. Then compare notes. Odds are, you did NOT see the same thing.
We wrapped with snacks on the amphitheater steps and a debate about whether to jump in on the family reunion behind us (two giant green tents, one bounce house).
🌟 come sit with us
Grab a tray, we'll catch you up. Sharing what's new, what's coming, and what you get for being at the table. All the good gossip lives here.
One last chance to join us this month.
The Great (TJ's) Pumpkin Tasting — a wine and pumpkin-food tasting with an official ballot, because pumpkin bisque vs. pumpkin tamales deserves your competitive streak more than your family group chat does.
Looking forward to meeting you in the soupy middle,
Lauren