The Social Studyz newsletter serves as a mix of weekly tools (question starters for building community), how we're practicing it together, and the occasional update on how we're building Social Studyz all in real time.
Hi In-Betweener,
This week: normalizing the 3am spiral (mine involves brows), a question for your group chat, and a look at what actually carries you through a glow-up, which it turns out, is not the eyebrows.
🌀 What I'm spiraling out about this week
Spiraling thoughts are the ones we think on repeat, or that send us straight down a rabbit hole. Each week I'll share mine so we can all normalize the 3am cant-go-back-to-sleep spiral. Tap in with your spiraling thoughts below, and they’ll be featured in a future newsletter.
In a few short weeks, I'll be seeing THE EX in Hawaii for a wedding. And yes, he will be doing the officiating. Deciding to go was its own spiral, but I feel really satisfied with my decision to go, and now I'm deep in a different spiral: achieving the most luscious brows and lashes.
In preparation, months ago I started diligently applying Rogaine to my brows. Now that my brows are in full effect, I discovered there are MANY ways to tame both my brows and lashes. Which was going to require real strategy. For brows, there is waxing, threading, plucking, and lamination. I also saw (and now want) geometric angling applied to my brows. For lashes, there are lifts, extensions, wispy, or just a good curler. AND not all curlers are created equal. There's also the question of who to see for your brows and lashes — an established salon, or one with a big following? Will I actually look any different? After a deep dive, several voice notes, a dream, and a long phone call later, I landed on a classic brow wax, no lamination, and a lash lift. I can fake the lamination with brow gel. And with the lash lift, I get to frolic in the water and still look like a baby angel.
What are you spiraling about this week? Hit “Reply” to this email and your response will be featured in a future newsletter.
Submissions always anonymous.
💬 A question starter for the group chat
Since this newsletter is about building community, we’re sharing low-risk, interesting questions to ask with the goal of getting to know our friends, lovers, family members, and acquaintances more intimately.
Speaking of glow-up facial hair, tell us about a time you were thriving just so you could be caught thriving. Maybe you started a new hobby, revived an old routine, or mysteriously posted a highlight reel to the 'gram. Who knows what you all get up to, but we want to hear about it.
Hit “Reply”. Tell us about a time you thrived for the sake of optics.
🛠️ How I'm building community this week
Events, thoughts, and happenings on my quest to continue building my community. Small attempts for you to steal.
This past week as I set goals for my brow and lash dreams, my friends and family went on deep dives with me, interpreted my fever dreams, opined on their personal routines, and dug up eyebrow curler recs. And this could not have been done without the long hang.
The long hang is not a planned or scheduled day of activities. It’s a several hours long, unstructured hang, with someone who already knows you. Running errands, grocery shopping, watching a slow descent into eyebrow-tutorial YouTube. One day earlier this summer, I spent the day at an Indian buffet, wine festival, and dinner with my cousins. And while most of my long hangs have been in-person, it works on the phone too — just narrating your evening to each other while you clean, cook, or fold laundry. The kind of hang you had in high school before everyone started scheduling time to see each other. As someone who is single, this is what I miss most: having someone to do nothing with.
The long hang is a LOW-PRESSURE situation. Here are a few things to make it work:
Do it with people you already trust. This is the place to lean into the intimacy you have with existing friends.
Do not plan it. This is not about a perfect, long day. This is about being open and seeing where the day wants to unfold.
Pick a low-effort default starting place. A coffee shop, a wine shop, the mall, a summer music night, someone's porch — helps keep things low-key and low-effort. You can always make a choice to change up locations. This often happens during the long hang.
It doesn't have to be one person. Throw it in the group chat and let people swap in and out throughout the day.
Let it be boring. You don't need to be bonding the whole time. This is about just being in the room together, doing nothing.
Who's your long hang person? Text them this week and report back. Don't have one yet? That's kind of the whole reason we're building this.
🌟 Come sit with us
Our first round of gatherings - co-creating and testing one spot at a time.
As a reminder, I need your help to start testing in-person experiences. We're in the pilot phase, and these first gatherings are co-creations, built by us, together, one at a time. Every gathering right now is discounted while we test. The sooner you grab a spot, the sooner we actually start building this.
And because each gathering is shaped by the in-betweeners who show up to it, no two will ever feel quite the same.
For an overview of what the experiences will look like, you can read the post here.
Grab a spot
🗓️Saturday, Aug 1— Before it was LA: A Morning at Kuruvungna Village Springs
🗓️Saturday, Aug 8 — A Total (Solar) Eclipse + Sound Journey
🗓️Sunday, Aug 16— An Afternoon at Sake School: Pour One Out for Small Talk
Looking forward to meeting you in the soupy middle,
Lauren