The Social Studyz newsletter is a mix of weekly tools, updates on how we're navigating the in-between, and the occasional peek behind the curtain as we build this in real-time.
Hi in-betweener,
We’re back bbs! Thank you for the kind words while we’ve been making adjustments and hunting for new events.
🌀 what we’re spiraling out about this week
Spiraling thoughts are the ones we think on repeat, or that send us straight down a rabbit hole at 3am. Each week, one of us shares, so we can all normalize the spiral instead of pretending we're not having one.
🚨🚨In-betweener share 🚨🚨
We all hate to see the absent parent coming. The one who pays the bills, then goes on with their life, showing up for the occasional 20-minute visit. I hate to say it, but that's been me. I'm the absent parent. To my dog.
Mid-August 2021, like the rest of America during peak COVID, my family got a puppy. My ball of energy, allergic-to-everything love bug, became the center of my world. She was my everything, but as the world opened back up, so did my life. And the unspoken agreement with my parents became: I'd cover her bills, they'd cover everything else.
And while my girl loves playing Dora the Explorer outside, her allergies fight her every step of the way. And after her last vet visit, over $1000 for an allergic reaction, I realized her allergies can’t be solved with money. She needs someone paying attention, week to week, and that’s not something I can venmo my way out of.
So now the spiraling begins. Am I actually ready to be her person again? How do I make this all work? Do I even want this responsibility? Am I good enough to give her the life she deserves?
Be honest - what’s an area of your life that you’ve been ‘handling’ with money instead of actually showing up?
🧮 the connection equation
A tip or practice we’ve tried in our quest to build community — broken down for you to steal.
Thank you to those who attended one of our pilot events. Your attendance mattered because you helped us shape in real time how events looked and what they felt like. Here’s what we learned:
Just asking is worth it, every time. For every partner we worked with, we practiced asking for exactly what we needed — a Q&A, a last-minute tour, discounts. Some of it was a stretch, and not everyone said yes. That's fine. Jia Jiang has a rejection-therapy philosophy that boils down to: the no costs you nothing, but the unsent ask costs you a yes you'll never know about. If you're putting something together, ask for more than feels comfortable, every time.
A facilitator's job is to build openings, not play matchmaker. We were tempted, at first, to introduce people over shared hobbies and point out who had things in common. Turns out that wasn't giving in-betweeners the best experience, and it definitely wasn't going to let us scale. The shared activity, the prompt that gets people talking, the layout that puts strangers next to each other — once that's in place, the connections get made in the room, not by us. If you're hosting: stop trying to control who bonds with who, and put your energy into designing more chances for it to happen.
Not everyone's showing up for the same thing, and that's worth saying out loud. Some in-betweeners want the deep, tell-me-about-your-childhood conversation. Others want to be around people who get it, without another person asking what's next or when the five-year plan kicks in. Both types of connection are equally meaningful, but trying to force one event to deliver both actually delivers neither. Be upfront with your audience about what they can expect, and be clear about which type of connection you're building toward, rather than trying to do it all.
📊 survey says
Yearbooks love a "never change." We love a good reason to. Here's what you told us, and what we changed.
You rated us. Mostly a 10.
93% of you said you'd recommend the event to a friend. 60% gave the event a 10/10. And 87% said it actually felt like real conversation, not small talk in a nicer outfit.
The sound bath was the favorite activity overall. We're taking the hint.
The note we're sitting with: a few of you wanted less structure, not more. Fewer scripted moments, more room for things to happen on their own. Duly noted.
🌟 come sit with us
Grab a tray, we'll catch you up. Sharing what's new, what's coming, and what you get for being at the table. All the good gossip lives here.
After our pilot events, here’s what we know now: the most powerful lever for us to grow is not going to be ads or algorithms — it's in-betweeners telling other in-betweeners. Someone who gets it, telling someone who needs it. About the spiraling thought,t the event they went to, the newsletter that made them laugh. That's the referral that actually works.
In other words, you are the growth strategy.
If Social Studyz has made your soupy middle a little less soupy, or you just think a friend needs to hear about it — send them our way. Here's what's in it for you:
3 referrals → early access to our next five events, before they open to everyone else
5 referrals → a discount on a future event, just for you
10 referrals → a little something, social studyz branded and made for the people who show up for us the hardest
Your unique referral link is below. Share it wherever your people are — group chat, instagram, that one friend who is clearly in it right now and showing up anyway.
Looking forward to meeting you in the soupy middle,
Lauren